Right Now: Three Skills, Three Actions and Three Pathways That Meet This Moment

‍Three Skills for Right Now

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Recently some clients asked if there were any concrete things they could be doing to address the moment. They’ve read lots of missives over the last few months and found that some leaned analytical or philosophical but not practical while others were superficial “to do” lists. Interesting, they said, but not really helpful. What they most needed was something equity-based that would appeal to the broadest audience in their organization and had some measure of depth. We know the dilemma - in moments of rapid change and uncertainty, stress levels run high and there is a desire for leaders to “do something, now”. This haste can lead to quick-fix actions that make it seem like “something” is being done but that often land as empty or even condescending gestures. Instead, we have been offering nine touchpoints (three skills, three actions, and three pathways) that can help create space and give organizations support in times of confusion, fear, exhaustion and overwhelm. This series outlines those nine touchpoints, starting with the three skills, and we hope they are as helpful to you as they have been to our clients.

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Skill #1 - Resiliency

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What Is The Need?

Although it is tempting to just stop reading the news, avoid conversations about the world, and essentially shut it all out, for a range of reasons we know in our hearts we cannot do that. First, denial impedes action, and it is action (even on a small-scale) that elevates agency and decreases isolation and overwhelm. Second, avoiding the “now” does not change it, and if you are reading our blog you are most likely committed to some form of positive social change, thus denial undermines efforts toward that change. And finally, disengaging from this moment serves to slowly but surely erode the ethical/social equity foundations of our workplaces, communities and ourselves because we are disconnecting from what is happening the lives of those we care about.

Of course, staying present to current events is much easier said than done. In order to make it more possible, the first skill every organization needs is resiliency. Yes, it is a slightly overused term, but that does not negate its potency in moments of overwhelm such as these. Resiliency helps individuals regulate their reactions and stay more present, it allows teams to stay connected and better support each other, and it makes it possible for organizations to stay nimble, responsive, and hopeful. In the following post I lay out a definition of this term so your team can speak the same language, five concrete skills for individual and collective resiliency work, and a few resources for further exploration. Your team will weather this storm if you are consistent in your support of the use of resiliency tools and then make enough space for staff to practice them.

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Definition

In traditional organizational settings “resiliency” has occasionally been co-opted in a way that is actually just a euphemism for pushing down feelings in order to work harder and longer. A mainstream, online definition that supports this is “… to be able to withstand and recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”. But that is not what resiliency means in social equity, wellness, or healthy workplace circles, and it is certainly not what I am talking about here. In equity-based spaces resiliency means the ability to stay grounded, present and regulated under stress, and the ability to navigate difficult emotions and sensations in order to ultimately gain a sense of well-being and equanimity. It is an embodied process of adapting well in the face of trauma and other significant stressors. Importantly, this then creates room in the mind and body for a positive view of the future and a sense of safety and connection to others. This is not a forced process, it works with the body's natural ability to heal and adapt and therefore can be practiced in any setting at any time. As a direct counter to “resiliency means you can do more with less!” true resiliency actually encourages people to take the necessary space and time for self-care so they can address challenging issues at a later time and place. Practicing resiliency affords people the ability to notice and name challenges and then respond rather than react to them. In short, it helps us be like kelp – solidly rooted and well supported, while also being able to flow and bend with the ebbs and flows of life.

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This is a vital part of any organization’s day to day right now because the kinds of challenges and changes we are seeing cut to the bone for many staff and it is important to stay centered with eyes wide open. To be sure, workplaces are not therapeutic settings (for obvious reasons - that is not their intent and they rarely have the appropriate resources available for deep personal work), but a workplace cannot thrive if it ignores the emotional realities of its staff.

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Tools

In our long-term work with clients we always start by offering a range of tools that help individuals and teams be more resilient and the following is a small sample of those. If you would like more information about these or other tools please reach out.

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1. Grounding in and Checking in

The purpose of these two tools is to create a space where staff are more present and connected. This has obvious benefits to “productivity” – when people are more present they are more attentive and that leads to better work, and “team cohesion” – when people take even a few minutes to find out how their co-workers are doing it slowly builds connection and trust. More importantly, it lets staff feel more rooted and less isolated in the workplace and this directly translates to their ability to take a deep breath and collectively address how this current moment is impacting their work and the organization. In total, these two steps take about 6 minutes and are well worth the investment.

• ‍Grounding in – Start the meeting with a 60-second moment to let people settle. Many are racing from one meeting to the next and so taking one minute to settle in actually saves you the 10-15 minutes lost by folks still mentally being in the previous meeting. The process for grounding in is simple: Sit or stand upright with your feet flat on the floor, close your eyes or rest your gaze on a neutral spot on the wall or desk (note, it is important to not look around as that will not allow your nervous system to settle), breathe as deeply as you are comfortable or able, and for one minute focus on the felt sense of your breathing. Your mind will naturally wander; do not to judge that, but simply notice the wandering mind and return your attention to your breathing. Some feel that this is too “woo” for their organization, but ample research shows that taking even one minute to center yourself before jumping into a task or conversation improves your mental faculties. And so even if you are uncomfortable with this process, it has workplace, health and mental acuity benefits that make it an easy win.

• ‍Checking in – In our trainings we use the check-in questions as a point of entry to the content, but in day-to-day work spaces we encourage clients to simply ask “how is everyone doing”. As mentioned, we are not trying to get into the deep dynamics of someone’s personal life, but if you learn, for example, that a colleague is working a full day and then spending a few hours every night at the hospital caring for a relative, you will not add more work to their plate (which would just leave them overwhelmed and burnt out). Relative to this moment, the check-in can give folks a place to share in general terms how they are and offer support to each other. This team-building process helps make folks a little stronger and less isolated.

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2. Emphasize that which brings connection and reduces isolation

This is not about cheesy team builders. Superficiality or toxic positivity will actually backfire in times such as these. Rather, try conversations topics that simply and gently help people feel like they are not alone in their struggles with this moment. For example, I have a meditation teacher who regularly asks “how many of you are struggling watching your mind?” and thankfully most of the room raises their hand. I am so grateful for this because I am often lost in thought about “how terrible I am at meditating” while everyone else in the room seems to be doing just fine. But when the visual chorus of hands pops up, I instantly feel better and the pernicious negative thoughts dissipate. This is not the amplification of negativity, this is the very human gesture of “you are not alone”. And thus you do not want to ask questions or start conversations that are steeped in snark, complaining, or the spin of how awful it all is. Instead ask a question about how people’s hearts are doing, how many feel weighed down, and then go around the room with the questions “what do you need / what can you offer?”. Your goal is to create some measure of connection for your teams and generate support. This may seem like wasted time, but in truth anything that pulls your team together and reduces isolation and overwhelm is a powerful investment in the most important aspect of your organization – its people.

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Examples – The specifics of this tool differ greatly across industries, organizational sizes and cultures. But in a general here are some examples: support more team-wide work to share the weight, spend more time collectively solving problems in meetings rather than individual assignments, take time to do some shared visioning and collective ideation, make a point to appreciate across the entire group and highlight what folks are doing to support the good of the whole, encourage checking in with each other throughout the day and ask to hear how that is going, if you are a supervisor open your door more and get out to chat with people, and emphasize wins and the value they hold for the organization (or to community/client).

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3) Kindness as an action

Kindness is often called a soft skill and therefore a secondary need in a work environment. This is problematic thinking in general, but right now it is particularly costly because kindness in organizational spaces is a primary need. For example, there's no way your staff will effectively talk across differences in their teams or your community/client base if they do not have the basic skills of being kind and extending care to each other. Kindness should not have to be taught, but mainstream U.S. society has lost its way with many of these niceties, even fundamental things like saying please and thank you, and so we need to actively foreground kindness. I'm always surprised when I take the time to thank somebody and they respond by sharing how grateful they are for my words of appreciation because no one ever says that to them. What a powerful (and sad) indicator that our communications have degraded in ways that are dangerous for our society and certainly fatal to organizations. Thus, it is wise to codify kindness in your organization.

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Examples –

The following are some examples that we encourage clients to do but also that clients have shared with us as they engage in social equity work. Of course, you should adapt them to your environment as appropriate. But know this, there is no work environment in the world where kindness does not make it more effective.

• ‍Recognition: Of course praise for work, or even for a legitimate effort, is a welcome trait in any work environment and conveys that you see your colleagues and appreciate their efforts. More generally, you can offer up gestures that indicate that you are thinking of staff.
• Reward: This is more concrete than the above in that it usually has some kind of material cost to the organization. We encourage you to reframe this not as a cost, but as an investment in the well-being of your staff. Events, celebrations, small gifts, or even resources that lighten the load for staff are a wise investment in times such as these, despite the tendency to “tighten your belt”.
• Communication: Kindness is most often and easily expressed in the many forms of communication. Of course a simple “hello” is a good habit, but then ask “how are you?” and take the time to listen! The standard U.S. response to “hello/how are you” is to say fine and then return the “how are you” while still walking in opposite directions. Right now, take the time to communicate kindness through your words and their tonal quality, body language, eye contact, facial expressions, and follow-up engagement. In addition, the skill of “remembering / noting” is incredibly helpful in kind communication – essentially it means that you remembered that someone’s dog is very sick and the next day or even a few days later you make a point to follow-up and ask how they are doing. Making a note of what is up for folks and then following up conveys an enormous amount of care.
• Collaboration: Rugged individualism or low-grade competition levels in workplaces can make them not great at collaboration. But, collaboration is a very important way to offer help to staff that are struggling without tripping those two wires. So, do what you can to create more pathways for collaboration so that kindness can be extended via help, support and guidance for any staff who may be struggling with the “now” of now.
• Empathy and compassion (placing yourself in someone’s shoes): Sometimes clients worry that these two dimensions of care mean that there is no accountability in a workplace. Nothing could be farther from the truth: 1) Compassion does not mean condone; in fact, when you combine deep care with accountability you often achieve greater results, and 2) In workplaces where empathy is a highly valued and exercised trait, accountability is actually easier because defensiveness is low and the correction stemming from that accountability happens sooner.

4) Change the usage of time

To insure these resiliency efforts do not end up being lip service, change the usage of your time so people feel freer to take a moment to breathe, ground in, and even get some space. That means you're going to have to regularly articulate the importance of just taking a 5-minute break (call it “take 5”) so this practice gets embedded in your team / organizational culture. Similarly, it is a good idea to schedule 10-minute gaps between meetings so staff have time to de-stress and take care of their bodies (bio breaks, stretching, and looking away from screens regularly). We know this sounds completely basic, and yet in times of crisis, making space for care and recharging is one of the first things to go. Crisis activates the frog brain which is not very good at pausing to think through something. Polycrisis moments such as these breed increased exhaustion and need to be counterbalanced by time to pause, reset and more fully show up. Given that it is spring in the northern hemisphere at the time of this writing, combining these breaks with a moment outside / in nature helps magnify the benefits of taking a few minutes to collect yourself and get some space (the emerging research on this is very interesting). In total, you might invest 30-40 minutes of daily organizational time into the “take 5” process, but that pales in comparison to days or weeks lost to folks having to call in sick or take time off because they are burned out.

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Changes:

• ‍Change your calendar policies to make all meetings only 50 or 75 minutes
• See if you can use Friday afternoons for no meetings
• As a supervisor, make it explicit that you want people to adhere to the new calendar processes. If you have some who are and some who are not, that will create more divisions, etc.

On your breaks:

• ‍Go for a walk and note the natural elements you see
• Stare out the window and let your gaze be soft, unfocused so your mind can relax for a moment
• Listen to music that calms your nervous system
• Journal so you can release some of the burdens you are carrying
• Close your eyes and focus on your breathing; let your visual senses rest
• Meditate for 5 minutes (there are many apps that can help with this)
• Talk with colleagues about things that are NOT work
• Do not use social media…that is not actually a break and will not reset the nervous system

5) Create dialogue that illuminates and animates

Some of us were in a client meeting two weeks ago and before we signed off, one of their team showed us all some fantastic (funny and sweet) pics of their new grandchild. It was a perfect way to end the meeting and it reminded me of how important it is to have moments of discussion and sharing that connect and animate us (in this example, our tone picked up a bit, we all smiled, and actually leaned into our screens as if that would allow us to connect to the pictures tactilely). Of course, this is not about bringing up superficial topics and pretending all is well, it is about broaching hopeful and exciting topics that have more depth and weight than some of the current impending challenges (welcoming a new human into the world and seeing their goofy reaction to this new, big place was perfect). Importantly, this is in direct contrast to snark. Anybody can be snarky, and there's lots of opportunity for it in this current social moment. While snark might feel good for a minute it's actually harmful in the long run. Snark-fests are akin to eating a ton of junk food - those Doritos might taste good in the moment, but by the end of the bag you are thinking “why on earth did I do that?!” Snark is seductive because it's easy and affords a momentary feeling of superiority, but the fleeting nature of its ability to do this means it has to be endlessly sustained which makes for a terrible workplace. Rather than just saying “no snark”, however, replace with something better: conversation that illuminates and animates, topics that have depth and interest, content that makes people laugh or smile. Find events happening in your organization or industry that are exciting, inspiring and that have an elevated energetic signature and lift people up. Sure, the pressures of this moment are never far away, but when practiced regularly, the power of having a positive vision and seeing more possibilities slowly builds a counterbalance that makes it easier to manage the “now”.

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Examples -

We have a client who is a mid-size architecture firm and they do a truly incredible job with their comm’s such that every amazing thing that a member of their firm does, every interesting thing that happens in their offices, regions or other places, and every exciting industry trend is regularly communicated. This gives them an enormous well of content to pull from and discuss, find excitement in, and use to foment hope and inspiration.

Outside of the workplace, there are a wide range of community events that can serve to equally inspire. This might take some time to find if they are not in your immediate sphere of work or industry, but investing the time is worth it. We have a client in Seattle who does an incredible job of communicating community events to everyone in the firm. As a result they are more active in their community and because they are consultants, this has had an unintended but welcome increase in their visibility and connection with community organizations they would never have come into contact with before.

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And of course, you can share aspects of your personal life that add to the delight of all and so make a little room for folks to be able to share those life moments. True, there could be some in the room that have a twinge of a reaction to this (jealousy, comparison, etc.) and so be mindful of how and what you choose.

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Resources

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Grounding In / Checking In

If you need support in “grounding in and checking in” HCG has a video on our website that can help. Below are two articles that we use for clients that can also offer a basic reason for doing these in the workplace.

• Unleashing the Power of Mindfulness in Corporations, APRIL 26, 2018 By Jan-Philipp Martini - https://www.bcg.com/publications/2018/unleashing-power-of-mindfulness-in-corporations  
• Tap Your Company’s Collective Intelligence with Mindfulness FEBRUARY 05, 2020 By Jan Philipp Martini, Liane Stephan, and Chris Tamdjidi - https://www.bcg.com/publications/2020/tap-your-company-collective-intelligence-with-mindfulness

Increase Connection / Reduce Isolation

• https://buildingmovement.org/our-work/movement-building/social-change-ecosystem-map/
• https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2023/09/28/murmurations-loneliness-fermentation

Kindness

• The Greater Good Science Center has a webinar and papers on the value of kindness in the workplace.
• Sharon Salzberg has an enormous body of work (books, talks, podcasts, interviews and articles) around what is called metta practice (loving kindness) and has a whole book about how to use it in the workplace
• Dr. Kristin Neff has a book entitled Self-compassion and this is a useful resource for being kind to self which makes it easier to be kind to others

Using Time Differently

• Emergent Strategy & Holding Change by adrienne maree brown
• https://thenapministry.com/

Dialogue That Illuminates and Animates

• https://checkin.daresay.io/
• https://www.spinach.ai/meeting-questions-bot

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